When I was younger, especially in my twenties, I thought having a “busy schedule” was positive. If the open spaces on my calendar were filled with commitments, it meant I was doing something right. Perhaps it even made a statement about my importance. If I was rushing from one appointment to the next, I was doing so because of my value in the world.
My wife and I had five children in our thirties. Suddenly I began working hard to reopen my schedule. I started saying “no” to personal and professional opportunities that demanded more time. “Busy” became something negative. Open hours were spent with family, at home, no distractions. Instead of busyness making me feel important, it made me feel I was neglecting something important instead.
As our children grew they began filling my calendar for me. In my forties, they were making commitments of their own in music and sports and work and academics. My wife and I encouraged many of those commitments. We developed a more balanced view of busyness then, understanding we had to sacrifice time to help our family develop skills and character.
Today, three of our children are away at college. Our family of seven became a family of four and our schedule changed. Slots are open now that we didn’t fully anticipate. Just this evening I was home alone – not busy at all – for several hours!
I don’t know how my views will change in my fifties. Perhaps I’ll find myself hoping for opportunities and looking for ways I can prove to myself I still have value. Or maybe I’ll embrace my free time and learn to get more rest. Only time will tell now.